The Unbelievable Summer

At some point over the last few days, I realized that this has been the most unbelievable summer of my life.

Literally.

And I know what you're thinking. Right. Everyone says that. Aw, man, this summer has been fucking unbelievable!


No, that's not really what I mean.

I've had great summers in the past, and I remember much about them. My favorite, in fact, was the summer before college, during which my best friends and I spent our final days of adolescence goofing off and not caring about anything except spending time with each other. We even made friendship bracelets.

That summer was fucking unbelievable.

THIS summer? This summer is different. Everything about this summer has, quite literally, been unbelievable. As in almost everything that's happened this summer is not believable.

I'm not sure how your summer has gone, but mine has been weird, different. And disturbing, and stressful, and sad. And there have been great moments. But something about it has been rather out of sorts.

Let's put it this way. A lot has changed, and good, bad or just plain fucked up, I haven't quite figured out how to react.

A few nuggets.

Normal Monday, ready to head home on the Metro. There are delays, nothing abnormal there. Except this time, nine people die, the whole system is fucked for the rest of the summer, and I still feel a little funny every time I board the first or last car in the morning.


Michael Jackson dies. Along with a host of other celebrities who don't get nearly as much press. I repeat. Michael Jackson is gone. Michael. Jackson.

Family friend dies the same week as mass of celebrities. Healthiest man we know is gone, and every time I walk down the street and hear a biker say "on your left" I am reminded that Uncle Greg isn't here anymore.


My metabolism has slammed the car door and driven away, laughing at me in the rearview mirror. There are deposits of things in places I didn't expect to see. I go to the gym, and hate it. And I think twice whenever I see a package of cheese or a bag of chips at the store and ask myself where on my person those items will likely reveal themselves. Then I remember the days of eating Cheez-its at 3 am without a second thought, and cry.


I have a boyfriend. (What?) No, don't get me wrong. I am happy, but we all know my track record. This is a new trend. Category: Good.


I have friends who are sick. I also have friends who's parents are sick, and the reality that I am not young anymore, nor are my parents, has struck me. Hard. And it scares me, everyday.


There are few moments where I am not tired. Yes, I take my iron pills. But I am almost always too tired to do anything. I hit the snooze button at least three times every morning. Coming home, I'm too exhausted to read the newspaper, I drag myself to the gym only for fear of gaining too much weight, and I don't think clearly after 7 pm. After a week's vacation, I came back to work and was whipped by Tuesday at high noon.

Another friend of our family had her house burned to the ground because there wasn't enough water pressure. Millions of dollars in priceless art, up in smoke.


I met about seven family members I never knew. Category: Really Good.


I have lost a friend, I believe, although I question now what kind of friend this person was in the first place, if a friend at all. I think so; I'm just not sure what happened.


A python went missing in Montgomery County. To my knowledge, the python remains at large.


Softball isn't fun to me anymore. Maybe it's the dynamics of the team, maybe I'm wrong in wishing for the "glory days" when we won two games all season, yet still drank beer on the Mall and went out to get even more drunk afterwards, whether we won or not. Now, everyone's married, no one brings beer anymore, and everyone goes straight home.


Temporarily, I played with a tennis team on which the captain essentially told me I had some "work to do" in order to "make" the roster. Suddenly, tennis, for the first time, became something I wanted to avoid.


Something happened to this summer. It's come at me, and a lot of people I know, with this ugly force, and it's stressful and unfun. Still, I realize there's been a lot good about this summer; a lot. And, really, I know what all this is about. It's that grown up shit we hate. And I know it's coming. It's imminent, and there's nothing I can do about it. I understand operating outside one's comfort zone; it's healthy. This is galaxies away from the comfort zone.


In my silly mind, I though summer was the time away from all of this. Maybe that means the rest of the year will be normal. Or the way Indian Summers remix on you and do what you though it was supposed to do only between May and September.

Somehow, the way we're going, I doubt it.

Current song:
September - Daughtry