A New Hour

This is the second time in five days I've been awakened before I needed or wanted to be. I have never known much about the 5 o' clock hour, but I certainly know more about it now than I've ever found necessary.

In the midst of these unfortunate early awakenings, I've come to two conclusions.

The first: I need to stop reaching for my blackberry at 5:00 am. Something is stirring inside me and I can't figure out what it is. I know something's wrong and something tells me to grab the single device that will tell me what it is. In a week's time, it has not failed me.

The second: these blizzards (sounds like something Sarah Palin would say right? "These blizzards we got goin' on" - how unfortunately plural...) have brought nothing but ignorance, inconvenience, disappointment and hurt upon everyone who has been unfortunate enough to suffer them.

During this most recent "reaching," I discovered that my coworker's grandfather died early this morning. After reading that, what human being can return to restful sleep?

Something's wrong here. Ever since this damn snow storm came our way, everyone's life has been hell. Work has been insane, getting to work has been even more insane, and almost everyone I know who's been impacted by these storms has been miserable. Nothing good has come of this. Oddly enough, I find that I would trade every single snow day for everyone's circumstances, my own included, to be different. I'd trade all of them to not be stuck in this wintry depression, because it seems like every time the flakes fall, something else goes wrong.

I wish I could go back to sleep, I really do. I'm at that point where I'm exhausted but can't stay asleep for more than six hours. No music I listen to comforts me anymore. No food tastes good, with the exception of a phenomenal shrimp gyro I stumbled upon yesterday, courtesy of a friendly bartender named Gus.

In these early waking hours, I thought of a woman I helped over a massive pile of snow a few weeks ago, when she almost got swallowed up by three snow plows who didn't feel it necessary to slow down. Turned out, the woman with a cane and not enough warm clothing was on her way to mass. You'd think little things like this would afford you a few lucky breaks along the way, some good fortune. I suppose not.

But it did get me thinking, and I find myself actually excited for Wednesday - Ash Wednesday - when I will go back to basics, in a way, and head to the Cathedral after work for service. It's time I stumble on some wisdom, take myself out of this bitter winter, and refocus.

I suppose these early hours are good for something other than being deferred again and again by airlines with hearts of ice.